Parenting Funnels

This past week in our Family and Leadership Ministries class we had a mini parenting class. We looked at the Scriptures and discussed and dialogued about different parenting strategies. I want to share some of the things I learned, not because there's someone out there who I think needs to hear this, not because I am starting some sort of parenting crusade. I just wanted to quickly share some of the things I learned this week that Courtney and I both found helpful and interesting in thinking about how we would want to parent one day.

There are an infinite number of parenting strategies, philosophies, styles, and ideas out there. And I don't really know much about most of them. Part of what we discussed this week was related to parenting and freedom for children. We learned about two different models when it comes to the way parents tend to parent their children:

The Inverted Funnel:

In this model, parents give children a great deal of freedom and choice in the early years. When the child is young, parents in this model give the child a number of choices: What do you want to eat? Do you want to go to bed? What do you want to wear? Do you want to finish your food? The same parents are also accustomed to providing a lot of feedback and end up negotiating frequently: "No, we can't eat ice cream this time. It's not good to have ice cream for breakfast." "I think maybe it is time to go to bed, you seem really tired and it's getting late." "How about you just eat three more spoon-fulls." It is all done with the best of intentions and with the thinking that the child needs more information to help them make decisions. One of the things missed with this approach is the sinful nature of the child and their inability to make proper decisions most of the time. "If they could only understand, if I just talked to them a little and helped them understand." That doesn't help most of the time, the reality is that children are not meant to decide what they eat, what they wear, or when they go to sleep. They shouldn't really be the final authority on when they have to sit at the table and when they can get up.

Another problem that often arises in these cases is that children begin to feel entitled to an explanation. Suddenly the explanation for why they have to put on a coat is necessary before obeying. Everything requires the parents to give an answer, and not just any answer, a good answer. This answer needs to be satisfactory to the child, who is growing intellectually and requires more sophisticated explanations for why they are being told what to do. All of a sudden, kids find themselves feeling restricted and unsatisfactorily instructed to do things. Mom and dad are more strict about bed times and when they need to stay sitting down and when they can move around. What tends to happen in this model is that the freedom/explanation/feedback begins to squeeze as children grow up. By the time the child is a teenager, parents (still with the best of intentions) if things are not going well, will restrict freedom, but it's the wrong time to do that. At this point in time, children are supposed to get ready to leave, but parents reactively squeeze in the authority and freedom.

The Funnel:

The idea behind the second model is essentially to reverse everything. This (I think) is the on that seems the most unnatural model or the one that we are least used to. It is definitely the one that takes the most intentionality. The idea here is to parent with the right priorities for the children. This model assumes that the most important thing for a 1-3 year old to learn is first time obedience. They don't need an explanation for what you are asking them to do. They don't need to know why they need to clean up the toys. What they need (primarily) is to understand that when mom and dad ask you to do something, you need to do it. They need to understand that they need to trust mom and dad even if they don't understand everything. Children who are accustomed to explanations and answers for everything often begin to develop a sense of anxiety and burden. They have grown accustomed to making decisions based on the level of satisfaction of the explanation and information they receive. It ends up not being based on obedience and trust on the parents.

"Because I said so" doesn't really cut it for a 15 year old or even a 10 year old. But a 2 or 3 or even 4 year old really shouldn't need much more than that. "You put your shoes on because dad told you to." The reason you start so tight is so that you have somewhere to go. Once the children have learned about the authority of their parents and that ultimately their obedience does not depend on "well that's not a good reason," then the parents can begin to loosen up. As children grow, their choices naturally grow. It's supposed to be like that. You begin to choose what you want for breakfast. You can decide how you're going to do your hair. You can more or less decide when you go to sleep. That is the natural way of maturity and adulthood. By the time children reach the teenage level, they have been well taught about respect and obedience and parents have slowly "loosened" up, and the children know that. They are given the freedom they want and expect (little by little) and are ready to be sent out in the world!

I am not a parent. Therefore, in a sense I really don't know anything about parenting. Anything. Yet in an other equally true sense, I've been learning quite a bit. Like a swimmer learning technique, the water is the real test. God-willing one day I'll be a parent too. Until then, I will continue to be amazed with parents and how they manage their homes and their lives with their children. But let's not forget to continue to study and to learn, even about our parenting!    

When Men (and Women) Are Told to "Act Like Men"

"Be watchful, stand firm in the faith, act like men, be strong. Let all that you do be done in love."

-  1 Corinthians 16:13-14

Act Like Men.

These three words have created quite a buzz over the past couple of weeks, especially in Southern Ontario. A few months ago it was announced that a conference would take place in Hamilton, ON featuring Mark Driscoll, James MacDonald, Matt Chandler, and Greg Laurie - Act Like Men Conference. There was a lot of excitement in my circles about the conference and, sure enough, about 8,000 men gathered this weekend to worship and learn from these speakers on this issue.

Right at around the same time, another group of churches and individuals were feeling more and more uneasy about the conference and the message they felt it was trying to spread. They organized a counter-conference, also in Hamilton, with the goal of presenting different evangelical perspectives on gender roles and biblical masculinity. The Act Like Men? Broadening the Conversation on Men, Women and the Church was organized as an "anti gender discrimination" conference and held last weekend. Coincidentally, and in a totally unrelated manner, my pastor in Louisville (several hundred miles away from the ALM Buzz...) preached through 1 Corinthians 16:13-14 this morning, as the next text on our series on 1 Corinthians.

Needless to say, I have been thinking about these three words a lot over the past couple of weeks. For some people, these words have been a reason to gather with great anticipation and excitement with other men and worship. For others, these words have been almost offensive and discriminatory. (See blog posts by organizers and participates here and here) So what are we to make of this verse and these words? 

When Paul wrote these words to the church in Corinth, he was indeed addressing the whole church - including the women. As Dr. Westfall rightly pointed out in "ALM?", from this passage, we gather that Paul wants women to "Act like men" too. So what did Paul have in mind when he told the church to "act like men"? In Paul's days, it was a male characteristic to be bold and courageous. Paul is not saying this view was the right view to have or the wrong view to have, it simply was the case. Paul is making an appeal for men and women in Corinth to not be afraid, to be strong. He adds to that, "be watchful, stand firm in the faith, be strengthened". It would have communicated a similar exhortation as someone saying "be watchful like a watchdog" or "be strong like a lion" today. It probably would not have been offensive to say such a thing to a woman or to a man. 

That seems to be what Paul had in mind, but there is much more baggage in these three words today. The concept of biblical masculinity has been distorted by being pushed too far off both ditches on the road. Some people have (quite pathetically) taken biblical masculinity to be synonymous with dominance, exploitation, and license for abuse. In other more subtle ways, biblical masculinity has been exclusively associated with meat, sports, and hunting. Men like myself who enjoy activities such as reading and playing violin have to raise our eyebrows and question this definition of manhood. On a more personal note, I think that some of the well-meaning people who have put so much energy into the "ALM? Conference" sought to take a stand against this kind of understanding of what it means to be a man. I would have too, except that I HIGHLY doubt that the ALM conference was organized to encourage this distortion. I did not attend the conference, but that is not the impression I get from the promo video:

"You're not going to sit on your death bed and think about how your business is doing or how much money you made. You're going to think about God and you're going to think about your family!"

- G. Laurie

"My church will be served by me. My wife will be loved by me. My family will be led by me!"

- M. Driscoll

"Let sound biblical theology call you again and again out of a life of compromise, out of a life of self, out of a life of short-sighted self-serving!"

- J. MacDonald.  

I could be wrong. But this conference was not organized to get guys to be more competitive. It was not organized to get men to play rougher sports or put away their origami. It is not calling men to grow more chest hair or to grunt more frequently. The speakers are looking to inspire husbands to love their wives. To inspire men to serve their churches. To inspire men to put away greed and self-fulfillment and think about their families. Is this really what is upsetting some people?

My guess is no. But then why so much resentment against these men and this conference?

Nurturing love (1 Thess 2:7) and courageous boldness are both characteristics that ought to be present in both Christian men and Christian women. Christ himself displayed both and if you and I are in Christ, these things are for us to display as well. However, some characteristics are best emulated in either males or females. There is no masculine parallel to a mother tenderly nursing and caring for her infant. Paul simply looked to that exemplary characteristic and sought to display it as well. Similarly, there's a time for toughness and courage, and Paul calls women to exercise this "manly" characteristic as well.

Jesus was a man. He demonstrated tremendous conviction, courage and boldness as he led his disciples, rebuked the Pharisees, and took the full wrath of God on the cross. He was a man. But this man also washed his disciples' feet, and did "spiritual laundry" in Ephesians 5:26-27. (thank you Dr. Westfall for pointing that out!) While it is true that Jesus and Paul displayed both stereotypical "male" characteristics and "female" characteristics, it is not as though God is doing away with his original creation of roles and gender in the New Testament.

Why an "Act Like Men" Conference? Again, I am not sure about all the details of the conference. However, it seems like the speakers and organizers are aware of a pattern of weakness, laziness, and ignorance in this area in men. Although both men and women are called to be courageous, to be strengthened, and to be watchful, this conference is simply gathering the men and trying to equip them to do just that as men, and not as women. Some find a conference about equipping men to lead their churches and to lead their families something that should be countered and opposed. Paul certainly did not shy away from specifically and distinctly calling men, husbands, and fathers to lead. Throughout the Scriptures, God has maintained and highlighted the distinct roles of men in women even when these are overlooked or distorted.
    

"So God created man in his own image, in the image of God he created him; male and female he created them" - separately and distinctly, in the image of God. 

For some more thoughts on these issues I recommend the following blog posts:
"When Men are Too 'Manly'" - James Dwyer
"1 Corinthians 16:13-14" - Ray Ortlund

My Great Commission Resurgence

The Great Commission and I go way back.

I was starting my undergrad and as I was learning about biochemistry, I also began to learn about the Great Commission. Jesus' famous last words in Matthew 28:18-20 were the core of what the "Cru" was about on campus. Campus for Christ (C4C) existed to fulfill the Great Commission beginning on our campus and going to all the nations. It was our mission, it was what we were about, and in my mind, it was what set us apart from other Christian groups I had been a part of. The idea of relying on the authority of Jesus as the strength to risk everything to go to all the nations and make disciples was radical. But this mission was one that I was willing to try - at least for those four years.

This former thinking of mine reveals my complete ignorance about the nature of the Christian life and the Great Commission. The call to risk it all and to "go outside the camp" (Hebrews 13) is not something that is or should be unique to any Christian group. It is not something that is meant to characterize any one particular church, para-church organization, or denomination. It is the one purpose and duty of the Christian - of all Christians. As my understanding of the Great Commission grew, my passion for missions increased and I was blessed to be a part of a few missionary trips in the summers. Slowly, my thinking adjusted and I began to see the broadness of the call. The call was not just for McMaster University and a certain group of Christians there. It was not one of the good options we had for four years before we all graduated and moved on to "real" life. The Great Commission is the real life, the real abundant life of the Christian.

Today, however, marked another significant milestone in my life and my role in the Christian Commission. It started with a great time of prayer and study of Romans 2. My heart was stirred deeply and distinctively as I was reminded of the pending judgment for all people. Later in the morning, I was blessed to hear Dr. Greenway, the new Dean of the Billy Graham School of Missions and Evangelism, speak on "A Full Gospel Ministry". This, my friends, was an unbelievable sermon. My heart was deeply moved as I felt a resurgence of the Great Commission in my own heart. As I heard the words in 2 Cor 5:17-21, I once again considered the option of doing ministry overseas, of simply leaving everything behind and of realigning my life agenda with the agenda of a missionary that the Lord Jesus has already assigned to me. I left today's chapel service for the first time considering changing my concentration in seminary. Graduating from the Billy Graham School of Missions and Evangelism would be an invaluable experience and undoubtedly a life-changing one. I left chapel knowing at least one thing - no student graduating from Southern Seminary (even from the school of Theology!) will graduate without being drenched with exhortation and encouragement on their role in the Great Commission and the reconciling of all peoples.

After chapel, I also spent some time reading Russell Moore's essay, "Theology Bleeds" and David Platt's "Outside the Camp". My heart continued to be enlightened to the glory of the Christian call:

"One purpose: the glory of God. He has created us, He has commissioned us, and He has commanded us to devote our lives and our churches to His glory in all the world. This is our purpose." - D. Platt

Platt's essay pointed to the next missing piece in my understanding of the Great Commission. The mission is not just for all Christians, it is for me! It had become incredibly easy for me to see how everyone ELSE had to strap their boots on and get going on the Great Commission, while at the same time keeping my "future plans" of local church ministry untouched.

The people of God have always been tempted to retreat from the mission they were given. The Israelites were not confident in the conquering of Canaan, the persecuted Hebrews in the New Testament were holding back from their mission as well. We must realize that distractions, physical dangers, temptations to remain comfortable, and hesitancy to leave family have always been there. And they will never go away. It is so easy to be willing to obey a Jesus who does not call us to go to the hard places. It is so easy to be willing to obey a Jesus who looks like us, who values comfort like us, who is okay with us staying where we want. The problem with that god is that it is us and not the real Creator of the universe who's heart is for ALL people.

Today I recommitted my life the Great Commission. I have reprioritized the needs of the world and the calling given to me by God over my own comforts. Today I needed to repent. The spiritual noise and glitz in North America is unbelievably sedative to the Christian who is not waging war on the principalities of this world by intentionally living missionally and evangelistically.

Let us not be lulled, not any more. Let us join the Spirit birthed resurgence for the Great Commission. No spirit-dwelled husband, wife, student, office worker, lawyer, musician, or pastor will ever know what it means to abide in the one Who's heart has always been for all nations until they surrender their lives to that same heart and mission. No Christian will completely understand the gospel until they understand their duty in gospel ministry for all nations. It is only us who have been given the ministry of reconciliation. So let us go forth as ambassadors. May we live lives and die deaths of Christ commanded Great Commission.

The First Two Weeks of Classes and Syllabus Shock

Once again I find myself writing a lot later than I would have wanted to, although the title of this post probably gives a good hint as to why. We have now finished our second week of studies at Southern and I think I can finally say I am getting over Syllabus Shock.

 

I was in denial until the end of my first week, but I was finally able to admit it and self-diagnosed myself with a mild case of Syllabus Shock. Apparently it's pretty common around here, although I kind of chuckled and raised an eyebrow at the concept the first time I heard about it. 

 

Apparently there's something in that first week of classes that "infects" you as you look at your reading lists, papers and tests that are on their way to you faster than you can get ready for them, not to mention adjusting to a new neighbourhood and way of doing (and writing...) things, together with family, church, work, and ministry responsibilities and maintaining a solid foundation for what you're doing by prioritizing your time with the Lord, without failing to maintain communication with friends and family back home and...

 

It was a little overwhelming.

 

It really doesn't have THAT much to do with the syllabus, but those syllabi seem to jump-start the whole "condition".

 

With that said, these two weeks have been great. We're pretty well adjusted to our schedules and routines, but nothing is as set and clean and straightforward as the nice 8-4 jobs we were used to. We've done quite a bit of exploring although there's always more to do. There's so much that has happened that it's hard for me to really know what to say here to try and summarize things, but I decided to answer a few questions we've been getting a lot and some that I'm making up myself because they're relevant to our first weeks here in Louisville.

 

What's the weather like down there?

Hot. Just... hot. Every day it's over 30ᴼC from the time we leave our house (7:45AM) to the time we get home, whether that's at 1:00PM, 4:00PM, or 6:00PM. The humidity almost always makes it feel like its over 40ᴼC so things often feel very sticky. I don't really mind it too much, but Courtney is really looking forward to the fall.

 

What do you miss the most about Canada?

Family and church hands down. But also my puppy Champ and some Nestea-powder, which we haven't found here. We also haven't found good popcorn salt... I kind of miss being able to read the French side of the cereal labels. A Tim Hortons around here would also be nice...

 

What do you like the most about Louisville?

Lots of things. We both love the country feel in the city. It's probably well known that Courtney is a small-town girl and I'm more of a city guy and that's why Louisville is so great. There's lots of old neighbourhoods and houses with big trees and big yards, away from lots of traffic, but the downtown is only a few minutes away. It really is a beautiful city with some really amazing people. 

 

What's your apartment like?

I'll work on a post and dedicate a whole post to that :).

 

When are you coming/going back to Canada?

Keeping Proverbs 19:21 in mind, we really don't know. We are hoping to drive up for Christmas but at this point we're not sure of a trip before that.

 

What classes are you taking?

- Intro to Church History (this one is probably the most interesting)

- Greek (Μου αρέσει εκμάθηση της ελληνικής γλώσσας)

- Theology of the New Testament (I get to see Schreiner twice a week)

- Theology and Practice of Personal Evangelism (this one is probably impacting my life the most)

- Family and Leadership Ministry (I'm very glad Courtney and I are taking this one together)

 

How about that sohthern accent?

What accent? No, sometimes it doesn't even feel like we're living in the south (probably because we are in the northern-most part of the south). You do hear it a little, but not enough to get me to drop my "eh's". (And for the record, "you guys" is still better than "y'all")

 

Feel free to post any questions or thoughts or if you're curious about any aspect of our lives right now! I'll be working on something about our apartment and neighbourhood soon!

 

The Meditation of the Majesty of Our King (Psalm 145:5)

"On the glorious splendor of your majesty and on your wondrous works, I will meditate"
-  Psalm 145:5

This is probably one of the most simple and straightforward verses in the psalm.

In the same way that David commits his soul to extoling God and blessing His name, he is now committing to the internal discipline of remembering and meditation on the Lord.

Here we see two things David wants to bring, keep, and stir in his heart. The first thing that David wants to commit himself to is the meditation of the wonder, awe, and splendor of God's majesty. As a king himself he is aware of the idea of a kingdom. He knows what it is like to rule over a people, to be in the highest position of authority over a region. David knows The trials and hardships of ruling justly - he understands the differences of people, the difficulty of maintaining peace, and the incredibly high honour that he has as the king of Israel.

In the same way, he looks to the heavens and thinks of the majesty of the King of kings and there he pauses. He stops at the thought of the majesty of his King and the perfection of his rule. There is no king who rules as perfectly as the Lord, there is no king with the power and authority of the Lord, there is no other as splendid as the Lord.

Secondly, David commits himself to the meditation and amazement of God's wondrous works. Every circumstance and event is approved and governed by the hand of God. Time itself does not bypass His authority and power and time itself is under his command. The events in our lives, the moments of joy, the seasons of pain, the days of doubt and the times of blessing are orchestrated and given to us by the Lord.

David has seen the hand of the Lord move. He knows that God is always working in and handling this plant and this universe of ours. What place does the meditation of this all-powerful God have in your life? Should we not commit ourselves to the daily meditation of the majesty and works of the Lord too? Would we not be strengthened by pausing and stirring up our affections for the Lord by meditating on the one splendor of the one by whom, through whom, and to whom all things were created? The discipline and delight of communing with God involves far more than simply reading a Bible. It requires the meditation of these two great realities.

Declaring the Mighty Acts of God as Praise (Psalm 145:4)

"One generation will commend your works to another, and shall declare your mighty acts" -  Psalm 145:4

The greatness of God is not something for us to keep to ourselves. It is far too vast to contain within our own experience and memory alone - it must be proclaimed.

The capacity to perceive and enjoy the greatness of God is a grace of God Himself, but it is ultimately for the growing of His fame and for the furthering of the vision of the glory of God. The picture that David gives us in this verse is that of parents showcasing the greatness of God to their children. It is that of grandparents speaking of the goodness of God to their grandchildren. It is the intergenerational dialogue of joy and awe in families, in churches, at work, with other Christians and with non-Christians.

The means resulting in the communication of God's glory and greatness is the proclamation of His mighty works. The commendation of the works and acts of God is an incredibly helpful and repeatedly commanded way of honouring and displaying the nature of God to others and to ourselves. To intentionally remember and keep track of the proofs and evidences of the greatness of His generosity, perfect timing, perfect knowledge, or perfect patience helps us maintain and store up nuggets of sustenance for our own joy and awe in the Lord.

Part of the way we will notice maturity in your own heart is by growing to perceive the hand of the Lord in all things. This will clear and expand our vision of the greatness of God in all His majesty for all to see and enjoy. Let's not shy away from declaring or commending what we know are the works and mighty acts of God to the people that the Lord brings to us every day - so that we might, "Every day... bless... and praise your name forever and ever" (Psalm 145:2)

The All-Surpassing Greatness of God (Psalm 145:3)

"Great is the Lord and greatly to be praised, and his greatness is unsearchable" -  Psalm 145:3
 

At this point, after stating his desire and his longing to extol and praise the Lord, David begins to articulate and explain what pulls his heart to such strong affection and worship of God.

 

The first characteristic of God that David mentions, is His greatness. The greatness of God which encompasses all of his attributes is the very reason why God is worthy of praise. His greatness is the characteristic that defines all of His other attributes and what separates His love from our love, His justice from our justice, His willingness from our willingness, His generosity from our generosity. His greatness is His perfection. It is the greatness of God in all of who He is that makes Him worthy and deserving of our devotion and adoration.

 

Everything about God should be seen and understood as superlative and infinitely more perfect and encompassing - especially as it relates to our own traces of such characteristics. The Lord is to be praised in accordance with His nature. The greatness and ultimate perfection and greatness deserves and requires nothing less than the greatest honour and devotion.

 

Ultimately, the outer fringes of God's never-ending and infinite holiness are too vast and effectively too great for us to completely see and understand. On one hand, they can be so clearly perceived and we can be so genuinely amazed by God's holiness and perfection in every way, but at the same time we must keep in mind that the glimpse of God that we can see is at best partial, blurry, and imperfectly informed. It is a glimpse of the truth nonetheless.

 

Do you see that the greatness with which you see God, and the way you stand in awe of Him will directly impact the way you worship and praise Him? David's desire to bless and praise the name of the Lord forever is attached to his desire to maintain a healthy and appropriate view of God's awesome greatness. We must understand that part of the maturing process of a Christian involves maturing in our eyes to see Him clearer each day, accompanied by growing awe. We must never be satisfied with the boundary that we think we see of God's greatness, that boundary does not exist, it is never really there. Without a growing understanding of God's greatness, our worship will plateau and plummet. 

Recounting the Story of Our Move

Well, we are here, we made it!

 

It's been a very busy week and I would have really liked to post something earlier on, but I guess one week is not too bad. The whole experience of packing, moving, and getting here was an adventure in and of itself, and it deserves it's own post. I will write something, hopefully tomorrow, about our first few days here.

 

It all started with the pickup of the truck. We had booked our 17' foot truck (we went for the bigger of the two options we were considering: the 14' and the 17') well in advance over a month ago. We had heard and read stories about people not getting what they had asked for or not getting what they wanted in time so we called and confirmed our order early in the week to make sure we were going to be able to get our 17' truck at 8:30AM so we could start loading ASAP. The lady was very kind and assured us that everything was okay and sent an e-mail confirmation about our order, the pickup location, and the pickup time.

 

Courtney and I went to pick up the truck at 8:20AM on Thursday morning (this was last week...) and after waiting about half an hour in line (I don't mind having to wait in lines too much) we finally got to talk to the rental rep who informed us that they did not have a truck for us. Again, he was also very polite and told us that they only had the 14' if we wanted to switch to that one instead. The customer that had the truck we booked was supposed to return it by 11:30AM that morning. The thing was that we didn't know for sure if they were going to return it in time. He tried calling the customer but no one picked up, he checked all the locations in the area to see if there was a 17' truck in the area that we could borrow - nothing. They only had ONE 20' truck at a different location and that was it. I was already not feeling super excited about having to drive what seemed to me like a HUGE 17-foot truck for 9 hours on the interstate, the idea of having to get a bigger one and having to pay more for gas wasn't too appealing. He did say that we would get a deal on the gas though. We decided that we were going to wait until 11:30 and see whether our truck came in or not. By the time we left, my mom and brothers were already at our place waiting for us so we could start loading. Courtney's parents were on their way.

 

The morning came and went and we got a call at around noon saying that the truck never came but that they did have a 20' that had arrived at their facility that we could take. We needed a truck so we decided to go for it. After another 45 minutes in line and a bit of a stressful morning, we had a truck, got a discount, and we were ready to start loading! It took a couple of hours but we JUST managed to fit all of our stuff into the bigger truck and had everything piled pretty much to the top - it would not have fit on the 17-footer!

 

We spent that night in New Hamburg and got up early the next morning to start driving. My parents and brother met us in the morning and we started the caravan to Kentucky. Departure time - 3:30AM.

 

The truck ended up being quite fun and easy to drive and we made it to the border with no problems. It was the shortest crossing time we'd had so we were just hoping that the inspection and the actual crossing was going to go well. And it did... except for the fact that I wasn't able to open the lock we decided to put in the truck that morning. I didn't have the code for it and even after frantically texting Courtney's dad for it, we still weren't able to open. We as in myself and the other 3 border-patrol officers. In the end they ended up cutting the lock, were very polite and kind, and let us go through no problem!

 

After a few stops to get gas, some coffees, and a quick lunch stop, we finally got to what would be our new apartment at around 3:30PM (12 hours later - a record long drive!). By then, we are all quite tired and the idea of unloading things was not too appealing. However, we knew that it wouldn't be as nice not to have a bed to sleep in, and we would have to go buy another lock for the truck if we didn't unload before it got dark. We ended up giving the unloading a go and with the help of our neighbors (about 5 of them) we were completely unloaded in an hour!

 

Our next-door neighbours are a married couple from Indiana and they were moving in when we got here. He is starting his M.Div. as well at Southern and they had one little guy who is turning 1 this month. It was great to see and meet our neighbours the first day and get a sense of how nice the community around here was going to be.

 

After talking to our neighbours about their move too, we found out that they had the exact same problem with the truck as us. They ordered a certain size for a certain time, and when they got there it wasn't available. They ended up going with the bigger truck, and much like us, they wouldn't have been able to fit their stuff if they had gotten the truck they wanted, when they wanted it. The way the trucks ended up working out reminded us again of the Lord's sovereignty and favour in our move. Also the fact that although both Thursday and Friday were supposed to be rain-days in Mississauga and Louisville, and we didn't get rained on at all, really encouraged us and gave more reason to thank God for a safe and smooth trip :).

We're Moving Next Week! - Update

We are now starting our last weekend in Mississauga before the big move. These past couple of weeks have been wonderful - wonderfully relaxing and wonderfully busy. We've been able to enjoy one week of relaxation at the cottage with Courtney's family and one week of rest and relaxation at Blue Mountain with my family. Also, now that we are both done work, there's been a lot of "TO DO's" that need to be checked off and of course some packing that needs to get started.

We've been able to enjoy great times with our families and friends and have been very, very encouraged and blessed by all the support and help we have received from so many of our friends. A lot of people have been wondering where we are at with the moving process and if we are "all set for the move". I thought it might be fun to write a little post with some updates with how we are doing, where we are at with our "TO DO's" and what still needs to get done. So, if you're interested, enjoy!

 

THINGS IN LOUISVILLE:

Most of the things that need to be set up in Louisville are set up. We have our courses picked, everything school related is on track, we only need to buy our books - 24 books for me and 16 for Courtney (we'll be sharing 13 of them though so it's really only 27 we need to get...) *gulp*. Once we get to Louisville we'll be importing our car, getting a Kentucky license plate, applying for a Kentucky Driver's License (which requires a written and a road test...) and Kentucky Driver's Insurance. We also need to get our renter's insurance and our internet set up. Finally, we'll be looking to get new cell phone numbers as soon as possible.

 

TRAVELING THINGS:

Most of our traveling documents are also ready. I had to apply for an urgent passport renewal earlier this week since it expires next year. Because we are applying for a 3-year visa, our passports cannot expire prior to the expected date of our return to Canada (Spring 2016). We will be going and having our visa interview on Monday (you can be praying for that...) which will make the actual trip down next Thursday a lot smoother when we have our truck full and don't have to stop at the border for the interview. We also have our moving truck booked and will have some help for our loading day (next Thursday).

 

FINANCIAL THINGS:

It is actually unbelievable to me what God has chosen to provide for us financially. I would have NEVER thought that we would be leaving for Louisville in the financial situation we are in. We by no means have extra money that we don't know what do with, but instead the Lord has chosen to provide for our daily and short-term needs financially and with the faith that we need to continue to look to Him for what will need tomorrow. For example, we were very happy when we received notice that we had both received a scholarship for $1600 for our first year of studies! I also received an offer of employment for a job on campus that I'll be starting in 2 weeks! Things like these have kept our spirits up and our eyes on the Lord. Our family and friends have also been a huge, huge blessing in this area by offering meals, giving gifts, and just encouraging us in trusting and looking to the Lord for our needs.

SPIRITUAL THINGS:
Spiritually, these past couple of weeks have been great because of all the "time" we have. I haven't had this much time to spend in the Word in and prayer in a long time and although there have been many hours that could have been better spent lately, I've really been enjoying spending time in the Psalms and in prayer every morning. Whether it is packing, running errands, or spending time with friends and family, our eyes and minds have been on the leading of the Lord. These past couple of weeks have been very exciting and busy, but there has also been significant times of sadness and tears as the date of the move gets closer and closer.

Aside from this, we have began our packing (as you can see in the picture) and we're making good progress on it. I'm feeling very, very excited about the move, about starting school and about starting this new chapter in our lives. I am going to miss our family so much, our friends, our church, our small group, our city, our ministry here, and everything that is so familiar. At the same time the Lord has so much more refining to do in us and for the next couple of years this work will be done in unfamiliar territory away from our church, family, and friends - and it will be AWESOME.  

The Daily Devotion of Joyful Worship (Psalm 145:2)

"Every day I will bless you and praise your name forever and ever" - Psalm 145:2
 

After summarizing his heart and summarizing the Psalm, David decides to reword his first verse and repeat it. "I will extol you my God and King, and bless your name forever. Every day I will bless you and praise your name forever and ever" (Psalm 145:1-2). This second verse seems to focus on and emphasize the frequency and the permanence of the adoration. David has such a strong desire and derives so much pleasure from it that it is his desire to continue in it every day for the rest of his life.

There are very few things that we resolve or that we desire to do every day. Some of the things we do daily such as brushing our teeth, having lunch and checking e-mails, we do every day but there was never a resolve to do so. They are simply things that either out of necessity or simple habit have become part of our days. The worship of the Lord is not such. The extoling of God cannot become routine like brushing our teeth, it is not something that is simply done and produces a checked box. It is a sacrifice that is experienced at first very dimly and faintly. The next time it might be just as dim and nearly empty, but it grows. The praising of God in the heart is an act that grows in brightness, in vividness, in clarity, in authenticity, and in intensity.

It is this growing pleasure and understanding of the appropriateness and necessity of daily, devotional adoration to God that produces its daily resolve. It is the growing sweetness and enjoyment of the presence of God that produces the desire to day "tomorrow again!". It is tomorrow's time in prayer that allows you to taste the sweetness again and gives you a little bit more understanding as to what the prayer is all about. It is devotion that produces more devotion and the dim light that produces a little more brightness the next time.

David's resolve and desire to bless the name of the Lord went beyond any circumstances that he might face in the future. He understands that worship is not dependent on anything other than the unchanging recipient of the adoration and praise, God Himself.

What is it about God that draws men to such devotion? What is it about God that calls man to enjoy prayer and adoration regardless of pain, joy, suffering, exhaustion and gladness? Surely it must be something great and not found in anyone or anything else. What else can require and receive such affection and fidelity? David will answer these questions for us in the verses to come.   

The Ultimate Joy and Purpose of Man (Psalm 145:1)

"I will extol you my God and King, and bless your name forever and ever" - Psalm 145:1

A few weeks ago I began a study of Psalm 145 out of a desire to maintain and grow in awe of God. It was Dr. Paul David Tripp who led me to this Psalm as rich text and source of admiration and wonder. Over the past couple of weeks I have been meditating on this Psalm, verse by verse, word by word, and allowing my mind and heart to soak in this song of joy and awe of God.

 

This Psalm is one of the acrostic Psalms - each line begins with the next letter of the Hebrew alphabet. This is characteristic of Hebrew poetry, but it also serves to memorize the text. This poetic psalm was likely one that was memorized by most Jews and they used the acrostic to help their memory. This is not an uncontrolled and thoughtless pouring out of thoughts and feelings in a matter of seconds resulting in the Psalm written. Rather, it is likely that it was carefully worded, ordered, and thought through to maintain the integrity of the acrostic while keeping a logical flow. 

 

This first line of the Psalm both introduces and summarizes the heart of David. He writes this line as the thesis and intent of his song. To extol the Lord, and to bless His name forever and ever - that is his desire, and it is out of that longing and with that pursuit that he pens the text. There is a resolve in his heart, a strong desire that he would continue to delight in the Lord in adoration for the rest of his days. 

David refers to God as a king, as his king. David was probably writing this line during his reign as king in Israel. Nevertheless, he is quick to see his own kingship and dominion over the nation as nothing more than his service and devotion to the real King and Ruler of Israel and the entire universe.

 

To extol God is to praise His name highly. It is to see the majesty of God and to rightly respond in worship and adoration. This cannot be done unless one sees God first, and so, worship begins with the setting of our eyes on God, looking to Him, and beginning to understand who this being is. Meditation and quiet reflection then becomes necessary to rightly respond to God. Responding to an idea, or thought, or memory of who God might be will not result in any praise or adoration of the real King.

 

In the last part of the verse, David shows the devotion with which he wishes to continue to praise God - "forever and ever". This is something so great for David that he wants to follow this pattern on a daily basis. In the next verses, he will begin to unfold why anyone would desire such a devotion and why any being would be worthy of such adoration.

 

The Journey to Finding an Apartment in Louisville - The Decision

I previously wrote about our trip down to Kentucky a few weeks ago. After looking at a few apartments, Courtney and I needed to decide between two different options. For more details on the two options, you can read my post here.

 

We decided we would spend a week in intentional prayer and see where the Lord would lead us and hopefully one of us would feel inclined to change our minds on the apartment we would apply for. For myself, there were a series of events over the two weeks following our trip that have taught me a lot about making important decisions, about trusting the Lord in prayer, about trusting the leading of the Holy Spirit, and about the beauty of a life not lived for myself. Here are the situations that acted as definitive steps on our way to our decision.

 

PRAYING – NOT MY WILL BUT YOURS:

The very first thing that I believe lead to peace and clarity in our decision is a prayer we prayed together the first night we got back home. Just before we fell asleep we closed our eyes and we prayed, “God, we look to you for wisdom and guidance in this decision. Please allow our hearts and minds to be open to what you will lead us to, give us strength to be honest with each other about where we feel you are leading us individually, and give us sensitivity to not ignore your leading”. As soon as I said “Amen” I automatically sensed “you should apply to the first apartment”. It was real, it was there, but it was just a feeling, I closed my eyes and fell asleep.

 

THE WORD – ELIJAH’s UNCOMFORTABLE JOURNEY:

We started a series at Harvest looking at the life of Elijah starting in Chapter 17. The first Sunday after we got back Robbie preached on 1 Kings 17:8-16 on a message titled “Walking in the Will of God”. One of the points Robbie made was that the will of God involves the test of believing. Both Elijah and the widow were tested in their faith for the Lord. Robbie made the point that contributing to the kingdom of God is always better than contributing to the kingdom of self. Spiritual maturity involves growing in generous giving, sacrificial giving, cheerful giving, and faithful giving.

 

COUNSEL – LIVES LIVED FOR THE LORD

It was at around this time that I began looking into Christian biographies. One of the biographies I heard our first week back was the biography of Charles Simeon. I saw and heard about this man with whom the Lord walked for many years. I saw the faith that the Lord gave him to endure trials, to not avoid suffering, and to remain faithful in the calling he sensed for his life. He endured so much suffering, so much disease, so many deaths in his family, so much discouragement, so much affliction, so much discomfort, so much alienation, so much hatred, and so much loneliness. When asked, after 49 hard years of ministry he was asked by one of his friends how he had surmounted persecution and outlasted all the great prejudice against him. He answered, “My dear brother, we must not mind a little suffering for Christ’s sake”. That line stuck with me. We indeed must not mind a little suffering, and we must certainly not mind a good dose of discomfort. I was inspired to have such a loose grip on material possessions and on personal comfort and instead to have a strong vision and desire for the gospel, for ministry, for sacrifice.

 

SACRIFICE – NOT MY KINGOM BUT HIS KINGDOM

One of the things Courtney and I both knew would probably have to happen if we were to choose the second apartment, is that we would probably have to stop our sponsorship of our two little kids through Compassion Canada. By choosing to stop the sponsorship of Yulianis and Lincon, we would essentially have the $100/month that we would need to make things work at the second apartment. After days of prayer, hearing about Elijah, hearing about, a pool and a nice balcony didn’t seem as desirable as a ministering to people that might have never heard about Jesus. It didn’t seem adequate or right for us to stop sending money to our two sponsor kids who are being fed with the Gospel , with love, and with daily necessities in Colombia through Compassion Canada so that we could enjoy what would be a more comfortable and glamorous place. I began to see that this decision was not about us, but like everything else in our lives, it was about the Lord.

 

FILLED WITH THE SPIRIT – WHEN I ABIDED MOST IN CHRIST

Despite all of these things, for most of the two weeks after we got back, I really wanted to live in the second apartment and was kind of hoping that Courtney would change her mind. At work, I would be thinking about how nice it would be to have a pool to relax in during the hot summer, and to read and to study. I thought about how nice it would be to have the nice patio. I thought about how hard it would be to have such a tiny kitchen. I just thought about how nice it would be to live in the second apartment. This is what I thought about, most of the time. However, this is not what I thought after a deep time of prayer, this is not what I thought after worshiping the Lord and hearing his Word preached on Sunday, this is not what I thought after spending time learning about the life of Charles Simeon. When I felt like I was leaning the least on my own understanding, when I felt like was trusting the most in the Lord, when I felt like I was acknowledging most his purposes and his desires, I thought about how great it would be to live in the first apartment.

 

When I thought about all these things, it seemed clear to me that if the Holy Spirit does in fact lead the people of God, this is very likely the way He does that. We ended up applying to the first apartment after being convinced that this was the right thing for us to do at this point.

The Journey to finding an Apartment in Louisville - The Options

It is about time to write of the journey that the Lord has taken us on in finding, applying for, and finalizing the details of where we will be living once we move to Louisville. This little piece of the journey has been, for me, one of the most encouraging and blessed parts of our journey so far. I have learned much about myself, about my wife, and about our God and how He is looking to work in our lives even now, manifesting his guidance through the Holy Spirit and His unchanging Word.

Prior to going down to Louisville a couple of weeks ago, we wanted to narrow down the search of apartments we had found online to a number that we might be able to actually go on see during the weekend (maybe 3 or 4) without overwhelming ourselves. After filtering our findings more by the budget that we had and by location (close to campus) we ended up with one apartment. We were going to go down and just look at the one apartment.

That seemed fine up until the night before we were leaving. All of a sudden we started having our doubts - "Are we REALLY going to drive 9 hours to look at ONE apartment?". In a bit of a panic, we loosened up our criteria and came up with a list of 4 that we would go see. That weekend we went and looked at the four apartments on our second list and left to come back home with a big decision on our hands.

 

OPTION #1:

 

 

The first apartment (the only one we were originally going to see) is in an older complex in a very quiet and green neighbourhood. There are lots of trees around, nice paths and a little park in the complex (all things that attracted Courtney to this option right off the bat). It is a 20 minute walk from campus and would be a good option if we were to have different class and work schedules. It is relatively inexpensive, as it is only available for low-income families. The 2-bedroom option we were looking at would be enough space for us, although the kitchen is tiny (one-person-in-the-kitchen-at-a-time kind of kitchen). We walked around and saw some of the immigrant families and kids that lived in the complex, which reminds us of the community where we live now.

 

 

 

 

 

 

OPTION #2:

The second apartment we were considering is a newer complex about 13 minutes away from campus in good traffic. This one caught my attention right off the bat. The grounds were wonderfully kept, the buildings looked newer, and the person who helped us and showed us around was very likeable, helpful, and courteous. It also had a really nice pool! The model apartment that we looked was VERY nice and we were both very impressed. It had a really nice kitchen, great walkout patio, nice windows, and great space. The price of this second option was a little higher (by almost $100/month) than the first option, but it still seemed manageable and worth the consideration.

 

 

There was much to consider, much thinking to be done, and much prayer to do. Courtney was leaning more towards the first option while I was very happy to apply for the second apartment. Overall, our trip ended up being productive and now we just needed to make a decision.

Baby 59 - The Moral and Sentimental Antithesis to our Pro-Choice Obsessed Culture

Baby 59 made headlines all over the world earlier this week when a video of his rescue began to circulate. The newborn baby boy, named after the incubator number where he spent the first couple of days of his life, was rescued from a toilet drainage pipe after residents of the apartment building heard cries coming from the plumbing. Initially, authorities thought the baby had been abandoned and said they would be treating the case as one of attempted homicide. However, local authorities have now concluded that the baby was trapped by accident after reports coming from the mother insisted that she went to the shared bathroom when she felt abdominal cramps. She explained that the baby slipped into the sewer pipe and she was unable to free him. It was the mother herself who sounded the alarm for the rescue team to come. She was present during the rescue that lasted well over two hours and explained that she wanted to raise the child herself but had no idea how to do it.

I have found the images and videos from the baby's rescue to be some of the most deeply heart-wrenching and emotionally disturbing I have seen in a very long time. British columnist Jonathan Jones writes, "Some pictures are moving because they make you sympathize with victims of violence. This one exerts a terrible psychological hold because the baby's release from the pipe is a macabre travesty of birth". He then goes on to describe his own emotional response to the images, "For me this poor baby is a figure of ultimate abandonment, a child whose early hours were spent in a filthy claustrophobic tube, with injuries that include a broken skull, fighting for life – and crying, successfully, for help – in the darkness and dirt."

Ultimate abandonment, filth, broken skull, fighting for life, crying for help - that was the state of this Chinese baby when the world first heard of him. The images and sounds that were witnessed can hardly be imagined. I cannot think of one person that was not, at that moment in time, waiting patiently and hoping that somehow this baby could survive.

There was, however, another person present at that rescue who needed help, who needed care and who needed support. It is hard to imagine what the mother was going through. Single, alone, and afraid, she watched as local authorities cut the pipe open to reveal her baby boy still attached to the placenta. Whether or not her story is completely true and regardless of whether or not more details about her circumstances will come up later, there is a sense of sympathy for the mentally and emotionally paralyzed mother.

Nevertheless, at that moment, all efforts were on the baby, all eyes were on the baby, all hopes were on the baby, all prayers were for the baby.

It is hard to imagine that any person at that moment would hesitate to do everything within their power to save the baby's life. We know, however, that in our culture that is exactly what takes place. The moral and natural priorities exhibited in the rescue of Baby 59 to savea baby's life regardless of any circumstances or desires stand in stark contrast to those of our nation, where a mother's choice trumps the decision to keep her baby alive.

To this day, Canada remains the only country in the developed world where there are no laws regulating abortions. In our nation, a mother can legally abort her baby at any point in time during her pregnancy - including up to the delivery itself. It is not a crime for a doctor (or anyone else for that matter) to kill the baby as per the mother's instructions as long as the child is not yet fully born. While there are different provincial and medical policies and regulations whereby a doctor might lose his or her license to practice if such an event were to take place, they would not be charged with a crime.

According to Stats Canada, there were 377,213 live births in Canada in 2010(1). In that same year there were also 64,641 abortions reported nationwide(2). That's more than 1 abortion for every 7 births! However, since the court struck down reporting requirements in 1988, it is difficult to know how accurate these figures are - they are obviously reflective of only a fraction of the abortions that took place.

It is hard to rationalize or imagine an alternate conclusion to the baby's rescue in China. The authorities could have stopped and asked the mother what she wanted to do with the baby prior to beginning the rescue, and she might have said "I'm not ready to have a baby", or "the baby is really sick", or "the baby is an inconvenience to me at this time, please kill it". The rescuers might have then heeded the mother's instructions and proceeded to remove the crying baby from the pipes and done as the mother had asked.

That alternate video would have undoubtedly sparked a warranted debate and protest against what had just happened. The truth, however, is that this alternate story would not be very different from what happens in our city, in our hospitals, in our clinics, in our own backyard every single day - legally, quietly and privately.

This alternate ending to Baby 59's life is not unlike what Alisa LaPolt Snow, a lobbyist representing Florida Alliance of Planned Parenthood Affiliates, argued should happen to a live baby of a "botched" abortion. When asked what Planned Parenthood would want to have happen to a child that is born on a table as a result of a botched abortion, she responded, "We believe that any decision that's made should be left up to the woman, her family, and the physician". You can watch the shocking response she gave on behalf of Planned Parenthood during the Civil Justice Subcommittee's consideration of the "Infants Born Alive Act" just a few weeks ago by clicking here. 

The fact that any decision that is made regarding a baby's life should be left up to the woman, her family, and the physician is exactly what Canadian laws seem to endorse and support. A mother in Canada can give any or no reason at all for wanting to abort her baby at any point in her pregnancy. While she might find it hard to find a reputable doctor to do so later on in pregnancy, it not something that is illegal and many times it is deemed "understandable". That veto over a child's life in the form of a choice is precisely what pro-choice advocates believe the priorities are. They believe the decisive verdit in determining whether a baby should live or die should come down to a choice, and not the baby's. But that is precisely what we don't see or could imagine seeing when we watch the video of this baby's rescue. When it comes to Baby 59, it is simply unfathomable to think that there could have existed any reason or circumstance given by the baby's mother that would have changed the outcome of the rescue.

Maybe it was the video. Maybe it was actually seeing a baby fighting to survive the only way it knows to fight - through tears and wailing. Maybe we don't really believe that choice trumps  life. Maybe Gregg Cunningham was right, "Injustice that is invisible inevitably becomes tolerable. But injustice that is made visible inevitably becomes intolerable".

(1). Stats Canada, CANSIM, "Table 102-4503: Births and total fertility rate, by province and territory", Statistics Canada, 2013, http://www.statcan.gc.ca/tables-tableaux/sum-som/l01/cst01/hlth85a-eng.htm

(2). CIHI, "Induced Abortions Performed in Canada in 2010", Canadian Institute for Health Information, 2010, http://www.cihi.ca/CIHI-ext-portal/pdf/internet/TA_10_ALLDATATABLES20120417_EN