When Men (and Women) Are Told to "Act Like Men"

"Be watchful, stand firm in the faith, act like men, be strong. Let all that you do be done in love."

-  1 Corinthians 16:13-14

Act Like Men.

These three words have created quite a buzz over the past couple of weeks, especially in Southern Ontario. A few months ago it was announced that a conference would take place in Hamilton, ON featuring Mark Driscoll, James MacDonald, Matt Chandler, and Greg Laurie - Act Like Men Conference. There was a lot of excitement in my circles about the conference and, sure enough, about 8,000 men gathered this weekend to worship and learn from these speakers on this issue.

Right at around the same time, another group of churches and individuals were feeling more and more uneasy about the conference and the message they felt it was trying to spread. They organized a counter-conference, also in Hamilton, with the goal of presenting different evangelical perspectives on gender roles and biblical masculinity. The Act Like Men? Broadening the Conversation on Men, Women and the Church was organized as an "anti gender discrimination" conference and held last weekend. Coincidentally, and in a totally unrelated manner, my pastor in Louisville (several hundred miles away from the ALM Buzz...) preached through 1 Corinthians 16:13-14 this morning, as the next text on our series on 1 Corinthians.

Needless to say, I have been thinking about these three words a lot over the past couple of weeks. For some people, these words have been a reason to gather with great anticipation and excitement with other men and worship. For others, these words have been almost offensive and discriminatory. (See blog posts by organizers and participates here and here) So what are we to make of this verse and these words? 

When Paul wrote these words to the church in Corinth, he was indeed addressing the whole church - including the women. As Dr. Westfall rightly pointed out in "ALM?", from this passage, we gather that Paul wants women to "Act like men" too. So what did Paul have in mind when he told the church to "act like men"? In Paul's days, it was a male characteristic to be bold and courageous. Paul is not saying this view was the right view to have or the wrong view to have, it simply was the case. Paul is making an appeal for men and women in Corinth to not be afraid, to be strong. He adds to that, "be watchful, stand firm in the faith, be strengthened". It would have communicated a similar exhortation as someone saying "be watchful like a watchdog" or "be strong like a lion" today. It probably would not have been offensive to say such a thing to a woman or to a man. 

That seems to be what Paul had in mind, but there is much more baggage in these three words today. The concept of biblical masculinity has been distorted by being pushed too far off both ditches on the road. Some people have (quite pathetically) taken biblical masculinity to be synonymous with dominance, exploitation, and license for abuse. In other more subtle ways, biblical masculinity has been exclusively associated with meat, sports, and hunting. Men like myself who enjoy activities such as reading and playing violin have to raise our eyebrows and question this definition of manhood. On a more personal note, I think that some of the well-meaning people who have put so much energy into the "ALM? Conference" sought to take a stand against this kind of understanding of what it means to be a man. I would have too, except that I HIGHLY doubt that the ALM conference was organized to encourage this distortion. I did not attend the conference, but that is not the impression I get from the promo video:

"You're not going to sit on your death bed and think about how your business is doing or how much money you made. You're going to think about God and you're going to think about your family!"

- G. Laurie

"My church will be served by me. My wife will be loved by me. My family will be led by me!"

- M. Driscoll

"Let sound biblical theology call you again and again out of a life of compromise, out of a life of self, out of a life of short-sighted self-serving!"

- J. MacDonald.  

I could be wrong. But this conference was not organized to get guys to be more competitive. It was not organized to get men to play rougher sports or put away their origami. It is not calling men to grow more chest hair or to grunt more frequently. The speakers are looking to inspire husbands to love their wives. To inspire men to serve their churches. To inspire men to put away greed and self-fulfillment and think about their families. Is this really what is upsetting some people?

My guess is no. But then why so much resentment against these men and this conference?

Nurturing love (1 Thess 2:7) and courageous boldness are both characteristics that ought to be present in both Christian men and Christian women. Christ himself displayed both and if you and I are in Christ, these things are for us to display as well. However, some characteristics are best emulated in either males or females. There is no masculine parallel to a mother tenderly nursing and caring for her infant. Paul simply looked to that exemplary characteristic and sought to display it as well. Similarly, there's a time for toughness and courage, and Paul calls women to exercise this "manly" characteristic as well.

Jesus was a man. He demonstrated tremendous conviction, courage and boldness as he led his disciples, rebuked the Pharisees, and took the full wrath of God on the cross. He was a man. But this man also washed his disciples' feet, and did "spiritual laundry" in Ephesians 5:26-27. (thank you Dr. Westfall for pointing that out!) While it is true that Jesus and Paul displayed both stereotypical "male" characteristics and "female" characteristics, it is not as though God is doing away with his original creation of roles and gender in the New Testament.

Why an "Act Like Men" Conference? Again, I am not sure about all the details of the conference. However, it seems like the speakers and organizers are aware of a pattern of weakness, laziness, and ignorance in this area in men. Although both men and women are called to be courageous, to be strengthened, and to be watchful, this conference is simply gathering the men and trying to equip them to do just that as men, and not as women. Some find a conference about equipping men to lead their churches and to lead their families something that should be countered and opposed. Paul certainly did not shy away from specifically and distinctly calling men, husbands, and fathers to lead. Throughout the Scriptures, God has maintained and highlighted the distinct roles of men in women even when these are overlooked or distorted.
    

"So God created man in his own image, in the image of God he created him; male and female he created them" - separately and distinctly, in the image of God. 

For some more thoughts on these issues I recommend the following blog posts:
"When Men are Too 'Manly'" - James Dwyer
"1 Corinthians 16:13-14" - Ray Ortlund