One Year Later - The Seminary Impossibilities Seem Bigger, But Our God Seems Greater Still

This weekend, Courtney and I had the opportunity to drive back to Louisville on our second trip to the city and the seminary to take a second look at what our life might look like in just a few months.

 

So many things have changed since we came down for the first time last year. A year ago, we were only beginning to think about going to seminary at all, Courtney had no desire to do more studying, we had not applied, everything - absolutely EVERYTHING was new and almost overwhelming to think about.
 

Over the past couple of months since getting accepted, there has been little break from googling apartments in the area, selecting courses, figuring out finances, thinking about moving trucks, praying for guidance, applying for visas, looking at health insurance, organizing paperwork, praying for faith, looking for jobs and applying for jobs, applying for scholarships. There always seems to be something we need to work on, have to submit, or should start looking at. It's amazing to think that although we have almost none of the same questions we had last year (Are we called to seminary? Is it feasable to move to Kentucky? Would we get accepted?) the impossibility of this journey is so much more evident - the impossibility of this journey without the Lord.

 

Our thinking from the beginning has always been the same - this is crazy, and unless the Lord guides and directs every one of the ten thousand steps required for this, it will never happen. All it takes is 1 door to close and we would have no choice but to stay in Canada. What we see one year later is that our God has been with us and has done a massive work of faith in our hearts. Looking back at how far we have come fills us with faith in an unfathomably strong and loving God who cares deeply for us. This faith strengthens us to carry forward to honour the Lord through the thousands of questions and uncertainties.

 

The Lord has also done a massive work of humility in our hearts. This humility keeps us from letting go of the Lord's hand as we get closer and closer to the end of the beginning of this journey. His mercy in humbling our hearts keeps us from thinking that we can fill out paperwork without the Holy Spirit, that we will have the finances needed outside of the generous hand of the Lord, that we will have the sanity and holiness to continue to strengthen our marriage without the Gospel of our Lord Jesus Christ.

 

In some ways the question marks in our life have only gotten bigger and multiplied. And yet, Jesus has revealed Himself able and willing to carry His weak and immature children through the purifying fires of trials and uncertainties to open our eyes to see His glory more fully and more clearly.

 

The irony of it all that the more the Lord walks us on this path, and opens doors for us in this life, the more that we love Him and the less we care about this life and this path. The more the Lord is providing and blessing our lives right now, the more I long to be with Him in glory. The more the Gospel becomes my life, the more I want to run on greener pastures, the more we want to drink from sweeter waters. My soul is getting restless for the place where we belong, I can't wait to join the angels and sing to Jesus - forever.